Family Mediation Solutions (FMS)
Structured, Holistic, Community-Led Family Mediation
The Family Mediation Solutions service (FMS) is a community-led initiative aimed to help separated parents resolve their disputes related to Care of Children, decisions related to their children, and Relationship Property division. Our holistic approach focuses on empowering families to navigate disputes collaboratively, prioritising children’s well-being and reducing conflict.
The FMS integrates the voices and experiences of the community it serves. We engage with families to tailor our services to their specific cultural, emotional, and logistical needs. Our services are accessible and inclusive, ensuring every family feels supported and valued.
We promote unity, support, and open communication. Our approach is rooted in whānau values and community cooperation, empowering whānau to navigate and overcome challenges together for the sake of their children.
How we can help
Family Mediation Solutions (FMS) provided by FDSS are designed to help parents resolve disputes without the need for lengthy court battles. The FMS services focus on two key areas:
This service addresses issues involving parental disagreements over the care of children. This includes disputes regarding living and contact arrangements, with each parent, and other important guardianship decisions related to the child’s upbringing.
The FMS also assists parents in mediating and negotiating disputes related to the division of relationship property and finances following separation. This covers disputes over financial assets, furniture and chattels property, maintenance, and child support.
Guidance & Conflict Coaching
Guidance and coaching to parents, supporting them in managing and resolving their conflicts by experienced and trained Mediators
Cost-Effective
A cost-effective alternative to lengthy legal battles through informal process for quicker results. Subsidised affordable fees
Voluntary process
A voluntary process empowering families to reduce or eliminate conflicts collaboratively and voluntarily without any commitments
Empowering Families with Our Unique Dual Mediator Approach
At Family Mediation Solutions (FMS), each parent has their own dedicated mediator—an approach that’s both unique and essential for effective conflict resolution. This “Two Mediators” model offers individualised support and empower both parents, creating a safe and impartial space for each parent to openly discuss concerns and receive tailored guidance.
By fostering trust and open communication, our model promotes a balanced, respectful environment where parents can engage constructively. This approach not only supports fairness and mutual respect but also helps families reach lasting solutions that prioritise the well-being of children and all family members. With FMS, parents receive support that honors both individual needs and shared goals, empowering them to move forward collaboratively to achieve resolution.
This means you’ll receive compassionate, practical support from trained and experienced mediators with lived experience, who truly understand the challenges of family separation and the realities of high-conflict situations and most importantly the impact on the children.
Community-led Initiative
The Community-led Initiative fosters a sense of community and encourages active participation in Family Mediation
Private and Confidential
A private & confidential process where all disclosed information remains confidential, to ensure a safe & supportive environment
Cultural sensitivity and inclusivity
The process prioritises cultural sensitivity and inclusivity, respecting diverse perspectives and values within families
The Process
Our mediators are uniquely trained and experienced professional community members, having navigated family separation and the Family Court process themselves. This provides a deeper understanding of the parents' situations and allows our mediators to offer guidance grounded in firsthand lived experience
Insightful Community Guidance
Drawing from community perspectives and over a decade of firsthand experience , we provide whānau with comprehensive insights into several aspects of Family Sepration
At FMS, we believe that the best solutions come from within the community. We draw on local knowledge, resources, and support networks. By doing so, we provide culturally sensitive and context-specific solutions that truly reflect the needs of the families we serve.
Inclusive & Accessible Mediation
Our mediation services are designed to be welcoming and accessible for all families. We create a safe, informal, and supportive environment. This inclusive approach makes mediation feel less intimidating, allowing families to engage comfortably and confidently in the process to avoud lengthy court battles.
Focus on Support
Our goal isn’t just to resolve legal disputes—we aim to strengthen relationships and improve communication between family members. We understand that family conflicts involve complex emotions and dynamics, so our mediators focus on repairing relationships and building bridges focusing on solutions and Conflict Prevention
What parents say about us
Frequently Asked Questions
The Family Mediation Solutions Service (FMS) is a structured, holistic community-led approach to help parents resolve Care of Children, Guardianship disputes, and Relationship Property division.
Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is a structured formal process often mandated by the Court to help families resolve disputes related to care arrangements, typically involving one mediator who facilitates discussions for both parties. The mediator is not permitted to provide any advice or support to individuals during the process.
In contrast, Family Mediation Solutions (FMS) is a semi-formal community-led initiative that empowers families to collaboratively resolve disputes in a holistic and informal setting, which includes guidance and support through the process. FMS assigns two mediators as advocates—one for each parent—providing personalised support and ensuring that both voices are heard equally. FMS prioritises children’s well-being and integrates community perspectives, offering a tailored approach that considers each family’s unique cultural, emotional, and logistical needs.
Your dedicated mediator helps by facilitating open communication, identifying core issues, and encouraging mutually beneficial solutions. They will help you to reduce conflict and stress, support parenting plans that prioritise children, and help you avoid court by providing knowledge and potential outcomes, if the dispute progress to the court and help you reaching practical agreements. Mediators bring expertise, tailor the process to your needs, and provide guidance for next steps if required.
No, your dedicated mediator will not share your private discussions with the other party’s mediator without your consent. Mediators are bound by confidentiality and will only disclose information you agree to share or if required by law (e.g., in cases of safety concerns or legal obligations). This ensures trust and open communication during the process.
Our mediators are experienced professionals who also have lived experience with family separation and the Family Court process. They are trained in mediation, communication, and conflict resolution, ensuring they are equipped to handle complex family dynamics sensitively and effectively. Their unique experience allows them to provide relatable, practical advice and support.
FMS covers a wide range of family disputes, including:
- Care and contact arrangements for children.
- Guardianship decisions related to children’s education, health, and upbringing.
- Division of relationship property (e.g., financial assets, furniture, property).
- Child maintenance and financial support issues post-separation.
The dual mediator model assigns one mediator to each parent. This approach ensures personalized support, fairness, and a balanced perspective. It allows both parents to feel heard and supported throughout the process.
The process works best when both parents are willing to cooperate and prioritise their children’s well-being. If there are safety concerns or issues like family violence, alternative measures may be more suitable.
No, mediators do not provide legal advice. However, they may offer insights into how similar issues are typically viewed in court to guide realistic discussions.
No. A Care of Children mediation agreement reached through the Family Mediation Service (FMS) is simply a private agreement and not automatically legally binding. However, it can become legally binding if it is formalised by a court order.
If both parties agree on the terms during mediation, they can apply to the Family Court to have the agreement converted into a consent order. Once the Family Court approves and issues the order, it becomes legally binding and enforceable. Without the court’s involvement, the agreement remains a private arrangement and is not legally enforceable.
For the court to make a private agreement enforceable, the court has to be satisfied that the agreement reached in the best interests of the children. Check this link
No, you do not have to make legally binding. Many separated parents rely on private agreements. However, it is preferrable to have it formalised by the court to protect your contact with the children. It is good for everyone involved including the children to have clear boundaries.
No, we just help you through the process of negotiations, disclosures and drafting the agreement. A private agreement reached through mediation for Relationship Property Division is not automatically legally binding. However, it can become legally enforceable if it meets specific legal requirements. To ensure enforceability, the agreement must – check this article:
- Be in writing and signed by both parties.
- Ensure that each party receives independent legal advice before signing.
- Have the signatures of both parties witnessed by a lawyer.
- The lawyer witnessing the signatures must certify that they explained the effects and implications of the agreement to each party before it was signed.
1 – Each party need to provide their confidential finances disclosures to their dedicated mediator, through online form. It will not be shared with the other party or mediator.
2 – Once disclosures are complete, then the negotiations will start.
3 – If agreement is reached, both mediators will draft a private separation agreement.
4 – Both parties have the option to get a legal advice and certify their agreement using lawyers.
FMS takes a holistic approach, integrating lived experiences, community-driven solutions, and long-term conflict resolution strategies, making it more accessible and personalized for families.
FMS provides a faster, more informal, and community-centered alternative to the Family Court. Unlike the Family Court process, which can be adversarial, FMS focuses on collaboration, negotiation, and maintaining healthy family relationships. Our mediators, with lived experience, guide parents through conflict resolution with a focus on their children’s best interests.
Yes, mediation at FMS is private and confidential. All information shared during sessions remains protected.
No. Mediation through FMS is a voluntary process. Both parents must agree to participate. However, if one parent is hesitant or unsure, FDSS can facilitate an invitation to encourage participation, ensuring that both parties have the opportunity to resolve issues amicably without going to court.
Yes, the preferable way is remote mediation services via Microsoft Teams or phone or Audio Conferences, making it accessible and affordable to families nationwide.
Yes, it is possible depending on your location. We currently offer in-person mediation only in Auckland and Nelson. However, extra charges may occur.
FMS provides low-cost heavily subsidised mediation services, ensuring that financial constraints do not prevent families from accessing support. Contact us to discuss about it.
1 – Complete the online registration form.
2 – You will receive an email confirmation with details about the next steps.
3 – A dedicated mediator will then be assigned to support you through the process.
1 – An automated email and/or text invitation will be sent to the other party
2 – Automated Updates about your case progress will be sent to your email every 3–4 days.
If one parent refuses to engage in mediation, the process cannot move forward. However, we encourage parents to see mediation as a less stressful and more child-focused alternative to court. FDSS offers guidance and support to help both parents understand the benefits of mediation, and we can assist in re-inviting the reluctant parent at a later time if needed.
FMS guides parents through a structured process of negotiation, focusing on the best interests of children and reaching fair resolutions for guardianship or property disputes.
The timeline for mediation varies based on the complexity of the issues and the willingness of both parties to cooperate. Generally, the process is much quicker than taking matters to court. Introductory meetings are arranged promptly, and the first joint or separate mediation sessions can occur shortly after both parties sign the mediation agreement.
To register for FMS mediation services, you can complete the online registration form on our website. If both parents agree to participate, the process will proceed. If only one parent registers, FDSS will automatically invite the other parent to participate in the mediation process.
FMS provides workshops and educational resources on conflict resolution, co-parenting, and communication strategies, helping families avoid future disputes.
Preparing for mediation involves being open to communication and compromise. Consider your goals and what outcomes you feel are best for your children and family. Bringing any relevant documents, like financial records or previous care arrangements, can also help facilitate a smoother process.
If no agreement is reached, families may proceed to Family Court. FMS provides insights into possible court outcomes to help inform your decisions.
Yes, FMS encourages the involvement of extended family or community members to provide culturally sensitive, community-driven solutions.
FMS prioritizes cultural sensitivity and inclusivity, and accommodations will be made to ensure that the mediation process reflects your values and needs.
The FMS fees are heavily subsidized and depend on the complexity of your case and the nature of the dispute. Typically, the average case takes around 8-10 hours of sessions to complete. The estimated total cost for both parents is $400-$500, with each parent paying half. Any additional sessions/hours will be around $50 per hour.
Sure – we are happy to provide you with an estimated quote. Feel free to contact us to discuss about it. The hourly rate for our sessions $50 per hour, which is a heavily subsidised fee. Thanks for our community grants funders.
Shuttle mediation involves the mediators facilitating negotiations between the parents without them meeting face-to-face. This method is ideal if tensions are high and direct communication is difficult. Shuttle sessions involve parents in separate rooms (or virtual spaces), with mediators relaying information and proposals between them. This is ideal if direct discussions are too challenging.
Each parent is assigned their own mediator, who provides personalised support, guidance, and conflict coaching throughout the process. Mediators work to facilitate discussions and help parents find solutions that benefit the entire family.
FMS aims to resolve disputes outside of court. However, if agreements are reached through mediation, they can be formalised and made legally binding by a court if needed.
The length of the mediation process depends on the complexity of the issues and the willingness of both parents to engage. However, FMS offers a more streamlined process than court proceedings, often resulting in quicker resolutions.
FMS mediators not only focus on resolving disputes but also on improving communication and strengthening relationships between family members. Conflict prevention and emotional support are key aspects of the service.
FMS is unique because each party will have their own mediator who will support them through the process. The FMS integrates community perspectives and offers a holistic, culturally sensitive approach. The focus is not just on legal resolution but on fostering long-term collaboration and improving family dynamics. The service is inclusive, accessible, and led by the community it serves.
Yes, we do. FDSS offers an after-mediation follow-up service based on a yearly membership for both parents. This membership allows FDSS to intervene at any time if disputes arise in the future, providing mediation and support without the need to hire lawyers or go through the court process again. This ensures ongoing collaboration and helps to prevent conflicts from escalating.